My Sweet Maverick

Dear Maverick, 

It's been a week since I saw you last... 7 days since Curtis and I sat at the top of Mom's stairs petting you. A week since Mom told me you had labs drawn that were severely abnormal. A week since she told me they would be repeating the labs the next day to make sure they were accurate. A week since I drove home with a pit in my stomach because I had a feeling I would never get the chance to see you again. And it's been 6 days since I received the phone call that your labs were in fact real, you were suffering, and it was time to let you go.

And now I sit here and write this as I struggle to hold back tears... so many of them... and my mind is flooded with memories of you.

It feels like yesterday I was beaming with excitement as Derek and I drove to the airport to pick you up. I had planned on keeping you a secret until we got home but that was nearly impossible. You were just a little bundle of fur with the biggest paws around... and a brave little boy to travel from Arizona to Massachusetts all alone. I asked the breeder for the biggest male she had available... and that's exactly what you were... all 120 pounds of you. So proud and majestic and strong.

Then something happen over the past few months... None of us have any idea what... but you started to wither away. You were less playful and losing so much weight... and ultimately we found out that you had kidney failure. It wasn't supposed to happen like this... you were only 7 years old. My goodness it was so painful to watch and even more painful to be so far away from you.

Sometimes it doesn't feel real... like the next time I show up to Mom's house I'll see you wander around the corner and hop around with excitement to greet me like every other time. And then I'll come inside and you'll flop your massive head on my lap for me to rub. Honestly, I haven't even been to Mom's since you passed away. I can only imagine how empty the house feels with you gone.

I'm sorry I wasn't next to you during your final moments... Curtis is very brave to have been there. And I'm sorry I wasn't around much in general... I wish I could have taken you with me when I moved out of Mom's house but she couldn't part with you... I don't blame her.

I hope you know how much joy you brought to our family. How comforting it was to come home to you and grow up by your side. You were Mya's first love... I'd say to her "want to go visit Maverick?" she'd start running around the house in excitement... she knew exactly what I meant.

And then when little Ryder came along, he was your favorite thing... you pawed him around to keep him underneath your body... like you were protecting him. 

It's so hard to accept that you're gone... I read an article one time and a man stated, "They should come with a warning label these creatures. They should come with a label that says you're going to fall hopelessly in love, only to have your heart shattered before you could ever possibly prepare." I don't think I've read anything more true than that. An eternity would not have been enough time with you buddy.

I can imagine you running around now, free and king of doggy heaven eating all the bones... no longer suffering. And that's exactly how I want to always remember you. Our time was cut far too short but you have left memories that will last a lifetime. Thank you for that.
We are a lucky family to have had you. I love you... and you will be forever missed.