Just about a year ago, I packed up my entire house, rented it out and moved in with Ben. First of all, I can't believe how much stuff I managed to accumulate in a few years. Second of all, it was the best decision I ever made.
There was a time in my life I used to make very irrational decisions and never put any thought into them. This time was different and included a lot of thought. I had fallen head over heels in love and the last thing I wanted to do was rush into something and screw it up. I talked everything through with my parents, my brothers, Ben... and it just made so much sense so we went for it.
I remember feeling excited to start this chapter of our lives but a tiny part of me was a little nervous... I was used to being so independent and spending a lot of time with me, myself and I... and I was headed to share everything with someone. But, my goodness, how I love sharing this life with Ben.
Thank God he is extremely laid back because I basically moved in and took over the place. Cleaning. Rearranging. Filling closets (all of them). Decorating with flowers and candles. Painting walls. And then our dogs started destroying things... they tore up all the grass, clawed at doors, chewed on walls and door nobs... one even ripped out every window screen in our mudroom so he could get outside. Let's just say it took some time to adjust.
The last year has been everything I hoped for. It's so fun having a sleep over with your best friend every night of the week (or at least nights one of us isn't working). And I've learned so much about Ben and myself and our relationship during this time. So here goes...
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1. I've learned to respect our differences and compromise. I've always been a morning person. Ben... not so much. I stopped setting my alarm so early on our days off and learned that it's okay to sleep in a little... the gym will still be there when we wake up and it's okay that our eating schedule is about 3 hours off from normal people.
2. I've learned we're bad influences on each other... we both like to eat sweets way too much. As soon as one of us gets a bad idea (like making cookies or eating ice cream) the other one jumps on board. So now we made a rule that unless we're both off for the day, we eat healthy.
3. I've learned I'm a clean freak (well I already knew this). Ben is not. I need to chill. Sure, I still vacuum almost daily (but you would too if you had 3 massive/shedding dogs) but if I don't get to it, it's okay. If the laundry doesn't get done, that's okay too. There is a permanent layer of dust on furniture, the kitchen table has a pile of papers/mail on it, the floors are dirty... all okay because our free time is limited and shouldn't be spent constantly cleaning... or worse, getting frustrated when things don't get accomplished.
The pups have also learned things... like getting along and not killing each other.
4. I've learned that communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Before living with Ben, I was notorious for burying everything inside until I was ready to explode. Now, when things bother me, we talk about them. Sometimes I still need a little encouragement to open up but it always happens and it has strengthened our relationship.
5. I've learned to stop being selfish with our time together. Before, Ben and I had a hard time finding days we were both off to actually spend together... so when we found them, the last thing I wanted to do was be around other people too. Now that we get to enjoy life on a day to day basis together, I love spending our nights off with family and friends.
6. I've learned to be more confident. Walking around with no mascara or clothes happens on the regular these days... and I usually don't feel self-conscious doing it.
7. I've learned Ben is warm blooded and I'm cold blooded. I've also learned how warm and comfy Ben's clothes are and where to find them... especially on days he has the AC cranking.
8. Since we both work crazy hours in fields that are high stress, we've realized how important vacations are to us. Time away from our chaotic life, where there are no chores or work or stress... these times are needed to refresh us and keep our sanity.
9. I've learned to calm the f*ck down and stop over thinking things. I don't know about you but if I think about something long enough, I can twist it into all kinds of nonsense. So unhealthy. I now try to think before I open my mouth and say something I don't mean in a fit of my craziness. I'm also getting a lot better at just, well, not thinking too much.
10. Love is about motivating and supporting each other. Pushing the other person to always strive for better and never settle in any aspect of our lives. Sharing goals in life and working to make them a reality.
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I love everything about our messy life and there's no one else I'd rather share it with. Can't wait to see what this next year has in store for us.
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